Day Twenty – Getting Curious
It can feel as if it is easier to avoid what you are afraid of rather than take it head on. If you have found at the different phases of this program you have struggled to follow through with developing a healthier relationship with food it’s important to dig deeper. Get curious, what could be getting in your way? Are there physical or mental things that may be getting in your way?
Think back on the last three weeks so far. We have talked about why giving up on dieting is a must, learning to enjoy food again, and listening to your body. Was there a certain activity or lesson that was particularly difficult to follow through or you were particularly resistant to trying?
For example, it’s not uncommon for a client to struggle with looking at foods as good versus bad. They can understand the research and ideas on why all foods can fit, but they still can’t seem to eat the foods their body is telling them to. You have to ask yourself, what is getting in my way? Does it come down to a physical issue such as, I am not buying enough of them. Are the foods physically not there to eat?
It seems like an easy solution, just buy them right? However, if you can’t get out of your head and just go buy them you may have to explore why.
If you are going to the grocery store every week and passing by the very food you feel is “bad” and not giving yourself permission, it is more likely avoidance. Take yourself back, what are the memories surrounding that food? Did someone tell you they were bad? Did your parents restrict those foods? Did a medical professional tell you not to eat them? Did a friend?
In many of my clients it goes back to their early years. Often times at one point or another they were shamed for the foods they ate. Typically, it happened with a trusting adult they looked up to. This brings strong negative feelings and guilt around that food.
No wonder you may feel this deep seeded guilt and shame when you eat that food.
This is often times when seeking a body positivity counselor could be helpful to heal these old wounds around eating. You can learn how these early experience were not helpful. This will help you to let go and allow yourself to eat all foods without guilt or shame.
So what I’m saying is be gentle with yourself. If a particular area of this program is not clicking, it’s not you failing. It’s you needing more self compassion for yourself. Understanding that past experiences are likely getting in the way and understanding it can take time to heal old wounds.
Keep working on the lessons and activities. When you get stuck, get curious and explore why you are getting stuck!